Be Compassionate

I sometimes wish we could all know each others battles that we are fighting so that, perhaps, there could be more understanding between people. Understanding for the fact that we all handle these battles differently. For some, people need solitude and quiet; others need camaraderie and noise; most probably need a combination of the two….

depressed

i’m feeling overly emotional today.  so much going on.  i keep crying.

Shaped by Our Past

I was thinking today about why I am a little cold-hearted about some things.   See, a visiting family member has major issues.  And my spouse invited him to stay with us indefinitely.  I’m not happy about it on a lot of levels.  I won’t even begin to discuss here how that is a very strong depiction of a failing…

You Can’t Force Me

There are times that my husband speaks to me as though I’m a child.  Don’t get me wrong.  It’s not often, but when it happens, grrrrr! Today was one of those times.  He got angry with me because I acted less than enthusiastic at his words that he and I need to pray together every…

How to Parent when You’ve Lost a Child?

it changes everything….  your second child ends up being the oldest, even though he’s not the oldest.   everything becomes out of whack.  that first child is a pleaser… WAS a pleaser.  typical first kid.  wanted to do what was right.  more connected to mom.  second child?  typical second child.  more lazy.  more rebellious.  now…

a poem

i write off the cuff about the anger, the hate the words come too quickly negativity won’t abate the why’s, the it’s not fairs they rule, they command seeping into life having the upper hand the anger colors all shading happiness grey exalting celebrating positivity at bay poetry off the cuff writing of woe, pain…

5 years

5 years. There’s nothing I can say that I haven’t said before. Perhaps some think “Why say anything then?” Maybe I shouldn’t. Acknowledging the worst day of my life on social media. What exactly is the point? I suppose there are multiple reasons for me and all of my public sharing. First and foremost, I…

What Would You Look Like?

You would be a man.  Your 18th birthday is just 18 days away.  A Man.  What would you look like?  I look at your sweet, innocent face in my pictures from just days before you died.  So young.  So happy.  So sweet.  So innocent.  My boy.  My wonderful, beautiful boy. What would you look like…

Grief and Gratitude

As I drove home this afternoon, I was listening to a Christmas song that made me think of Nolan.  I said aloud, ‘I miss you Nolan.”  And it hit me that this will be our fifth Thanksgiving, our fifth Christmas, our fifth  holiday season without him.  How can that be?   5 years seems so…