A Late Night Poem

This poem was originally published by me on December 9, 2013 on Bubblews
Why?
On that cold December morn
Briefly, life was still the same
Until I heard your brother
Saying your name
“Something is wrong with Nolan”
So I walked down the hall
Into your room I stepped
Disbelief at what I saw
Your lifeless face before me
This had to be a dream
Shaking your body to wake you
This couldn’t be what it seemed
The chaos that happened next
As screams filled my head
Daddy tried to save you
As he cried “Nolan, don’t be dead.”
The children all were crying
None of it felt real.
As I awaited paramedics
In the snow did I kneel.
Questions from the man in grey
About you, my precious boy
Trying to figure out what happened
To steal our love, our joy
To hear the words,
I’m sorry, but your son is dead
Is something I want to forget
But it is stuck inside my head
I had to call my parents
To deliver this horrible news
Before heading to the hospital
To spend some time with you
The screams of your brothers and sisters
Eventually started to wane.
The screams of grandma and grandpa
Are seared inside my brain.
Walking into that room
Where your precious body was lain
I felt like it wasn’t reality
The shock somewhat deadened the pain.
Upon return to the house
That no longer seemed like home
There was coldness about it
Like it could never again be warm
I don’t remember much
About the days that happened next
Planning your funeral
This felt like some awful hex
The day arrived to bury you
Outside the sky was gray
Inside the church was full
Where your precious body lay
We traveled to the graveyard
Followed by the crowd
Balloons and cold and bagpipes
I felt like screaming aloud
Your body was before me
I had to say goodbye
They lowered you into the earth
And I can only ask WHY?
I will never understand
WHY
Screen Shot 2015-08-18 at 10.08.35 PM
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