My Last Thanksgiving with my Son

Who would have thought as we celebrated that Thanksgiving in 2012 that it would have such significance?  It was an ordinary Thanksgiving day, like many others before it.  16554_3909721107868_1105971856_n

I’d say probably the only thing unusual was the chance my sweet Nolan had to help his uncle Bruce with chopping the wood.  In the picture above, he is with his older cousin Chase.

My mom and my niece have both posted pictures of Nolan today as we head toward Thursday’s holiday.  They are both stating how much harder it is this time of year.

I think, maybe, it is because I feel his absence so profoundly each and every day that the holidays may not be as hard for me as they are for them.  My niece, especially, mostly saw him at the holidays.

Don’t get me wrong.  They are difficult.  I am filled with a bittersweet longing as I watch my other children enjoy these precious days.  I long for Nolan to be enjoying these days as well.

So as we move toward Thursday and my 3rd Thanksgiving without my son, I feel a sort of anticipation knowing that at some point during the day I will have a moment to myself where it hits me like a freight train.   I will cry tears, most likely in the bathroom, straighten myself up and join the party.



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