Our Birthday Was Yesterday… Yes, “Our.”

This was my Facebook post yesterday… the day you should have been turning 16… just 3 years after your death.


16 years ago…. 16 years ago, (from this very moment in the wee hours of the morning) I fell in love, truly, deeply, immensely in love. This amazing, incomparable sort of love did happen to me again, four more times, but there’s definitely something about that ‘First Love,’ isn’t there?

Nolan came into my life a tiny bundle of joy, 3 pounds, 12 ounces. I was enamored by his teeny tiny toes, little mouth, beautiful eyes.

He was born on my thirtieth birthday, the best birthday gift I could ask for.

I didn’t know that my time with my first born would be so brief. I didn’t know he would have to leave me just 13 short years later. I didn’t know the world would lose this precious, wonderful gift. That I would lose my son.

13 years was not enough time Nolan, not even close. I’m sad; I’m angry; and I miss you so much.

Today we should be celebrating your Sweet Sixteen! We should be excited (or nervous) about the prospect of you getting a driver’s license. We should be spending OUR birthdays together Nolan. You and me.

Happy 16th birthday Nolan. I hope you are having a wonderful time in Heaven.Screen Shot 2015-08-18 at 10.08.35 PM


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