I started a project shortly after your death, but I stopped. I’m thinking about starting anew.
I’d like to make a photo book for each of the other four children of pictures of them with you, Nolan. I’m such a photog that I have taken thousands upon thousands of pictures since becoming a mother. Needless to say, there are many, many, many of you and each of your brothers and sisters.
The biggest and most difficult to do would be Liam’s. The two of you were together, always together, for 11 years. And those first couple years were all hard copy photographs. I’d need to scan them into my computer for digital images. The other challenge would be Ella, your baby sister who was only 2 when you died. Of course, you LOVED to hold her. So I should be able to put together a nice keepsake for her.
I was thinking today that I might start working on it with the plan to give them to your siblings on YOUR birthday. It might be a good way to think of you on your day. I may not get them done by this birthday, which is still another 10 months away, but eventually. I suppose it could be for your 18th birthday… Your 18th birthday… the day you should become an adult.
Life is so freaking unfair.