Yesterday I wrote a post on another blog of mine ( it’s more of a discussion board blog) about how those moments from the day of your death haunt me. I had a user make a comment about how I need to move on. The surprising thing is that this woman has also lost a child, albeit many years ago.
First of all, since Nolan’s death, I have used my writing to help me move through this grief. I write so that I don’t often wallow in it in real life. My family, my friends, they rarely see me cry or act sad. I’m not wasting away in a pool of grief.
But moving on?
I move through life now as a grieving mother. Nolan’s life and death are a part of me. I have to continue to live, to function, to move.
You work through the pain, but the pain is there. I read a perfect description recently comparing the grief to the waves of an ocean. Sometimes the water is calm, clear, placid. Other times it is rocky and rough. Then there are those monster waves that wipe everything out. That’s grief. It’s not always knocking you down, but it does sometimes. And as long as you get back up instead of letting it wash you away into the depths of the ocean, then it’s ok to let it knock you around a little bit. You did love that child after all.
I shouldn’t be surprised by this woman’s comment. I have heard of others being told to move on by people. It was just the fact that she has lost a child as well. And someone who writes on blogs as well. That’s where I go to let that ocean wave roll over me. I go to the safety of my own words.