Spiraling Nowhere

bob tryWe tried to do what was right for our family, in the beginning.  We followed those parenting books pretty closely with number one.

Classical music was often playing in our home (it makes kids smart, you know.)  Television time was limited (more than 30 minutes a day will rot their brains!)   Fast food was not introduced until, well, until they were older.  There no video games in our house.  There was family time.  We spent many hours at parks or simply in our own backyard.  We ate dinner at the table.   We read book after book after book.

Then Nolan died.

And it often feels as though life has spiraled out of control.  There is too much tv, too many video games. We rarely eat dinner at the table.  Getting the kids to go outside seems like a chore now.  Books?  Nowhere near enough.  And I can’t remember the last time we had classical music playing in our house.

It’s not that I don’t care anymore.  It’s that my energy level has been zapped.  I have a difficult 14 year old who I struggle to relate to.  I have too many activities to get the kids to.  And I’m missing my oldest child.

I’m still trying.  I’m still aiming to raise my children right.  It just looks different now.

Advertisements

One Comment Add yours

  1. Judy says:

    I remember feeling like I had “vacated the mommy premises.” Sometimes, it’s just too hard to do anything other than breathe and make it through your day. I feel for you.
    My little boy used to love to play a little guitar along with me – together we would sing. After he died, the music ended. I lived with silence and sadness for a very long time.
    But now I can sing again. And my songs bring my son back to me. I dedicate this recent recording to you. https://judyunger.files.wordpress.com/2016/03/every-season-mix-acoustic-2-20-16-mix-13.mp3
    I have the story here: http://myjourneysinsight.com/2011/05/08/274-every-season-you-come-back-to-me/
    I suffered for many, many years. I am crying for you. No one can imagine how hard it is.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s