I have taken a vast amount of photographs of my children sleeping through my motherhood years. I’ve always loved to see their precious, innocent faces while they sleep.
I feel differently now.
When I look at the sleeping photos of all five of my children, I cannot help but be reminded of finding Nolan dead in his bed, sleeping permanently. Walking in that room on that morning, that day of HELL, seeing that his face looked an abnormal shade after Liam yelled to me that “Something is wrong with Nolan.”
Although I felt concerned when I heard Liam’s words, I never imagined I would find my precious son, who went to bed seemingly healthy the night before, dead. I never imagined that Liam already knew what I didn’t know, that Nolan was lost to us forever. That he wouldn’t’ wake from this sleep.
So now, when I see sleeping images, I think of Nolan’s death face and the hell that commenced from that moment on.