I’m Tired

Screen Shot 2015-08-20 at 9.10.47 AMsometimes i wonder if i would be so tired if Nolan were alive.

grief is a heavy, heavy burden.

and one way i cope with that burden is to keep extremely busy.  we are ALWAYS busy.  it’s the only way I think I have survived Nolan’s death.

when i do finally have some downtime, i’m exhausted.  i’m not going to lie to you, my house is a disaster.

I can’t seem to find the energy to clean it.

I miss Nolan.

He was a good helper too.  I don’t have the energy to make the others help as much as Nolan used to help….



4 Comments Add yours

  1. Judy says:

    You know it – grief is exhausting. Nothing really matters much anymore; everything is different. The house is a disaster? I’m not surprised. Survival is a tremendous effort and I know you are working hard.
    Some people languish in depression with their grief. Others are constantly busy as you described. That was me. I never slowed down because if I did, the pain was too much to bear.
    Hope some of the heartache eases and little and you find some peace on your grief journey. It’s definitely a long road. I’m really sorry for all you’re going through.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ah, yes. I agree. The grief of losing a child is a heavy load to carry…and it takes so much energy to “keep on keeping on” and to get up and face another day. There is no escape and no getting away from it. Those who have not been there have no idea how exhausting it is. Please try to extend yourself some grace to do what you can and let the rest go. And make sure to take the time to take care of yourself. Hugs…Becky

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes grief is so overwhelmingly tiring. I too keep as busy as possible, I hate days when I have time because it makes me think about my loss and I struggle then to get out of that headspace again.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I seem to wallow the most if I am alone, in my car, for any period of time…. that’s the time it seems to hit the most


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