I see why it happens.
They say that the percentage of couples who divorce after the death of a child is astronomical.
I see why.
You think it won’t happen because you have both just suffered the same devastating loss. The loss is life changing. The loss is soul changing. The loss is marriage changing.
Every single person reacts is his or her very own singular way.
Some people internalize their grief.
Some people are very vocal.
Some people cry a lot
Some people don’t.
Some people turn to drinking, drugs, food, sex, gambling, anything to distract themselves from the pain.
Some people turn to God.
Some people lose faith.
Some people grasp that faith as their only hope.
Marriage is hard anyway. It’s hard for any couple. Men are annoying. Women are hormonal. There’s often financial stress or even just financial disagreements.
Raising children is hard. You each have your own thoughts, ideas, etc. Mostly you try to make it work together, but sometimes it is hard.
I think it’s normal to have disagreements, arguments, etc. I think it’s normal to have ups and downs, highs and lows, ebbs and flows.
But you throw in the loss of a child…. well…. then you have extra sadness on top of it, extra exhaustion (because grief is so fucking exhausting), you have extra anger.
Like I said, it is life changing, soul changing, marriage changing.
it’s hard to survive; it’s hard to stay afloat; it’s hard to breathe. you feel very alone in your grief. no matter what. it’s yours. your own.