548146_10151316843387278_704534786_nI just asked Ella if she remembers Nolan spending time with her.  She says she does.  But I can’t help but wonder.  She turned 2 just eleven days before he died.  And it’s been 4 years.   She just asked me how old she was when he spent time with her.  And I said, “Well, he died 11 days after you turned 2.” and I really hated saying those words.

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  1. Judy says:

    Jason died a week before my other son’s 2nd birthday – that’s an eerie coincidence. In fact, we celebrated his 2nd birthday with Jason because Jason was having heart surgery and I wanted to do this ahead of time. Little did I know, he would die and it would be hard to celebrate birthdays with my surviving son after that.
    My surviving son was very affected and he was very difficult. For many years, I blamed his tantrums and screaming upon grief. I learned later there were other reasons besides that.
    All these years later, my surviving son is peaceful and okay. He has told me he has no memory of Jason.
    But I can say that all three of my kids hear about him and feel they know him from my stories. He is part of the family, even though he died long ago. His love lives on.

    I am so sorry for your grief and sadness. It is a very long and lonely journey. I’m glad your daughter has some memory of Nolan. That is very beautiful and I’m sure, comforting for you to know.

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  2. wieckling says:

    So hard for siblings x I’m sure she holds him close in her heart and recalls all of his brotherly love from the memories you all share together over the years, in photographs and in stories ♡ forever keeping his memory & spirit alive x

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