5 years

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5 years.
There’s nothing I can say that I haven’t said before. Perhaps some think “Why say anything then?” Maybe I shouldn’t. Acknowledging the worst day of my life on social media. What exactly is the point?
I suppose there are multiple reasons for me and all of my public sharing.
First and foremost, I honor Nolan, I remember Nolan. I’ve had many people tell me over the past five years that although they never had the pleasure of meeting Nolan, they feel as though they knew him because of what i have shared. His memory remains alive which warms my broken heart.
Second, I share because it helps me. I have written words, words, and more words over the last five years. I post on Facebook. I write on multiple blogging sites. Therapeutic. I believe writing has been very therapeutic to me. Feeling the support, the reaction to my words, the kind words I receive in response, it’s all helped me. And those who grieve need help, need support. For each person, it is different.  We find this support where we find it.  It’s different for each person.  Just as how we grieve is different for each person.  Some are quiet, some are vocal. I happen to fall on the vocal side.
My third reason for sharing is incidental. I’ve been told by others that my sharing has been helpful to them, to others, for a variety of reasons. Believe me, I didn’t set out to be helpful. I’m a mother who lost her child.   I feel quite alone and selfish in my grief.  It’s mine.  But…. along the way, I’ve met other grieving mothers, fathers.  I’ve talked with others suffering from other problems.  Some say that my words have helped them.  Some say that they’ve learned to appreciate things more since watching my pain.  Many other things have been shared, my mind is blank.  I cannot remember them all.   I suppose it can be a little soothing to me to know that I’ve helped others.  If I could take that away though and have Nolan back, I would.
Five years.   I miss you more today than I did yesterday Nolan.
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3 Comments Add yours

  1. Your words, your pictures, your memories have helped me feel not so alone in my grief, thank you for sharing Nolan and your grief with me xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you @mssharonmullins for your kind words. Sometimes it does help to have that company with someone who understands.

    Like

  3. MeRaw says:

    Thinking of you.
    Love and hugs.
    x 👼🏻 x

    Like

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